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Coffee, as defined by Urban Dictionary: the “juice of a plant that gives life and suppresses the urge for murder.”

Well, Urban, I can’t say that’s incorrect.

Coming in all shapes and sizes, coffee has been an art in the modern age. While I’m a big fan of lattes, others may prefer espresso rich in crema, a simple black coffee, or something extravagant from Starbucks. Growing up in a Sicilian household, I was quick to realize the standards and quality a good brew consists of:

• A strong, dark flavor that is not overpowering in itself
• Is amicable with a wide variety of additions; sugar, cream, milk, water (for psychopaths)
• Joy. Pure joy should come with coffee, as well as all food and drink

However, as I grew closer to the medical field, coffee became a rather controversial concept. Was it bad for your health? Was it good? What were the limits of the coffee spectrum? Were there any? Was my latte about to send me into V-Tach?

There was only one way to find out.

Cracking open the internet, it didn’t take me very long to find some interesting facts about coffee. Funnily enough, after being discovered in the Arabian Peninsula by Europeans, it was brought back to Europe only to be called “the bitter invention of Satan” and actually required papal approval by Pope Clement VIII (National Coffee Association).

Imagine being such a dark roast that you need Catholic approval to be consumed.

Anyhow, despite the controversy, “coffee houses were quickly becoming centers of social activity and communication in the major cities of England, Austria, France, Germany, and Holland” (National Coffee Association). This trend soon resulted in the creation of coffee shops, becoming a well-loved and known phenomenon across the globe. Now, “estimates state that as high as 90% of American adults consume coffee (1-2cups/day), while 40% will consume 4 or more cups/day” (Hyland).

That’s... a good chunk of coffee. Doing the math out:

95mg caffeine = 1 cup of coffee

That would mean that there is 376 mg of caffeine in four cups of coffee. To reach heart attack levels, one would have to drink 687 mg or more a day of caffeine to even put themselves at risk of a cardiac arrest.

Author: ...

Author: Hm. *Coughs* Alright, well-

Aside from tasting good, there are practical uses of coffee. Not only does it keep me alive during a particularly long shift, but coffee is also capable of improving “alertness, wakefulness, and flexibility in acceptance of other’s opinions” (Hyland). I’m honestly not so sure about that last one — I’ve definitely had an argument or two sipping on a latte — but for the rest, I can agree with. By increasing heart rate and blood pressure, blood flow to muscles and the brain is expedited, making the body more aware and ready to rock and roll.

Until you stop rolling and rocking, that is.

Caffeine crashes include the following side effects: “cognitive clouding, fatigue, sleepiness, +/- anxiety commonly occurs 4-6 hours after ingestion of coffee, lasting 1-2 hours” (Hyland). Crashes can also be influenced by when one drinks coffee. Last year, I found that if I had coffee before 10 a.m. I’d crash pretty hard around noon and was unable to remain very focused in classes following that time. But, if I had the stuff after 5 p.m. I had fairly steady energy for the remainder of the day. If you’re looking for that caffeinated kick, experiment with different times to figure out when caffeine will work the best with your bodily chemistry.

And it just tastes good, lol. Nothing wrong with having your morning cup of joe alongside your favorite type of breakfast (my current go-to is fried eggs on avocado toast). I’m not sure if anyone is curious, but if you’re looking to get started in your coffee journey, I’d recommend looking at a few YouTube channels for pointers! Whether it be latte art or perfecting your espresso shot, there are plenty of talented creators on there who are willing to guide you in your coffee journey.

I hope you all enjoyed this little de-bunking article, and that Fall Break was restful for all of you. As we lean into the holiday season, I encourage you guys to delve into what you’re thankful for, even if they’re things that you wouldn’t quite expect.

I love you all very much, and I hope you enjoy the sun today; there’s only going to be so much warmth left in the season now.

With peace, love, and all the peanut butter, your friend Tulio,

Beatrice

Beatrice Glaviano ’26 is a nutrition sciences major at the University of New Haven.