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Good morning, everyone. It’s almost 4 a.m., and my boyfriend has taken over the bed. I don’t even know how he does it at this point. Maybe it has to do with the moon phases, or he’s dreaming about a past life as a racoon squirreling a taco from a trash can.

Boyfriend, snoring in the tune of a Vitamix blender:
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I swear, maybe I hurt him in a past life.

However, I would not say that the early wake up is being wasted. Interestingly enough, I took a shot at a new culinary adventure: brown-sugar syrup. Lately, I’ve been really interested in making syrups for my coffee, teas, and baked goods as it really does add an extra zing – and it’s definitely a lot better than the store-bought stuff.

Squinting at chemicals that we call ‘food’: “No.”

As a nutritional sciences major who approaches my field from a holistic sense, I whole-heartedly believe that food can truly be a great source of preventative medicine when it comes to illness. Foods such as onion, garlic, blueberries, fibrous veggies and fruits, ethically produced meats, and probiotics are the foods that I look for to create a grounded, energy-producing, and nourishing source of nutrition. As a result, I am a huge fan of making my basics by myself. Whether this be making sauce, bread, syrups, soups, or even my own protein/nutrient bars, I find knowing what is really going into my food really beneficial. I.e., making a vitamin-dense soup containing, carrots, butternut squash, soaked cashews for creaminess, chicken or vegetable stock for warmth, a lovely slurry of onion and celery doused in extra-virgin olive oil, sticks of cinnamon because it’s autumn, etc. Side with a crisp, freshly toasted, buttery slice of your favorite sourdough or baguette, et voila: good soup.

Soup could go so hard right now. It’s also 3AM. BAHAH.

Nutrition can be anything you want it to be. Maybe what’s going to nourish you is the sloppiest, most mouth-watering and cholesterol-increasing burger with a side of fresh fries. Other days it could be knowing the difference between wanting a Kit-Kat or maybe a handful of dates for energy. For me, there is no “good” or “bad” food, just nutritionally dense or less nutritionally dense.

After years of disordered eating, eating-disorder recovery, and, frankly, a truly warped mindset surrounding food, exercise, and my relationship with my body, I’m fed up with diet culture. Let me eat rice and not shredded cauliflower, dude. Also, I am fine with my ~50g of protein a day instead of eating one gram per pound of my own bodyweight, which is insane, by the way, considering you’re supposed to be eating carbs predominantly.

(The recommended amount is actually 1g protein to 1kg of bodyweight; the conversion factor is 1lbs = 2.2kg, for those who are curious).

This isn’t to say you should only eat carbs or fats, but understanding that the human body – like other organisms – prefers to use glucose as a source of energy. Glucose, which can only be found in saccharide-containing foods such as fruits, veggies, and complex and simple carbs. (To quote Ryan Gosling "You need CARBS! YOUR BRAIN RUNS ON GLUCOSE").

But what do I know, oh holy diet culture almond mothers? Clearly nothing.

...

It’s funny.

I used to be a huge gym rat. I was deadlifting 175, getting good at my bench, and super duper addicted to chicken sausage and shredded turkey. Now, I’m a runner, hiker, yogi, and Pilates-lover who focuses more on non-inflammatory movement that benefits my mental, physical, and emotional health while engaging my body in healthful practices that it truly enjoys. For so long, I was either made to exercise or forced myself to work out, which led to a horrible view of my body’s worth and my relationship with food, exercise, and my existence as a whole.

Life didn’t end when I stopped hating the folds of my stomach. Yes, I gained some weight, but I have gained something even more valuable: my life. I’m able to enjoy the waffles my boyfriend makes and have two slices of my birthday cake WITH ice cream because birthday calories don’t exist, and my sister bakes the best carrot cake I’ve ever had in my life.

There are less mirror tears and hair in the drain. I’m no longer freezing all the time, and I know I don’t have to finish a meal if I am satisfied. I am kinder, more flexible.

It’s the little things like that, really. Little things like that that make life all the more better because when you stop making food, your body, your existence, your life, well...

You start living.

And boy, is living (not survival) great.

Please take the time to take care of yourselves this week. While I predominantly write to students, I know this blog is read by others as well. Go for a good, nurturing walk and eat toast with guac and fried eggs. Read a book that you actually want to read, or a book that challenges you. Every day can be a good day if you let it. I promise.

I hope everyone enjoys their morning (it’s almost 5AM) and can offer a moment of reflection toward their body. I have a friend coming for breakfast at eight, and a hike to go on with the boyfriend (which, of course, requires getting him awake and out of bed) before going to class.

I’m going to go do some yoga and shuffle through my tarot, and I’ll see you soon.

I love you ☺️
With peace, love, and peanut butter,
Beatrice