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I think the older I get, the more confused I am about life. I also think that’s a shared thought among people. There are taxes and chores, and I keep asking myself increasingly ridiculous questions, such as: how is there still homework in Canvas? Is there a legal limit to how much one can shower in a day? Is my calculator just a safety mechanism? Where are my car keys? And:

What am I doing with my life?

There is so much pressure on young people to do ‘big people things’ nowadays. We’ve all (most likely) been told to become something expensive: a doctor, a lawyer, etc. Unfortunately, you cannot go out onto the street and get paid for telling the world that chickens are men (featherless bipeds), for example. Okay, maybe you could do this, but I’m not sure how successful you’ll be at it, per se. You can, however, go to school, get a degree, and uh, figure it out from there. Maybe you’ll become successful and recognized, but most likely, we’re all going to end up working a routine 9-5 and pray that nothing exciting happens that day.

How horrible. Ugh.

I know that I want my life to not be only studying, even though four years of a bachelor’s, two years of a master’s, and who knows how long I’ll be in medical school will most likely contain me within four walls most of the time. There must be a greater purpose than being the perfect A+ student. Yes, grades are important – and having a job – but so is being a human being. Isn’t that important, too? You can’t just throw your life into academics or work and forget about your humanity. – I’ve been a victim of that.

Therapist: “These are all really cool hobbies, but...where’s the self-love?”

Author, a full-time student with three jobs and progressively less sleep: “That’s a great question.”

I’ve realized that outside of school and work, I’m not entirely sure who I’m becoming or who I’ve even been. Sometimes I wonder what happened to my hobbies, my loves of life, my curiosity and wonder, and all I can say is, well:

I happened.

There’s this great quote that says, “Life doesn’t come at you, but from you” and that’s stuck with me ever since I saw it. It’s rather true, isn’t it? Every consequence has an action, and every action has a consequence. We’re all responsible for the lives we live because we’ve made the choices that lead us to where we are now. Yeah, we can’t control everything, but we can at least control ourselves.

Being so honest with you all, when is the last time you did anything you actually enjoyed? No, TikTok scrolling doesn’t count. That doesn’t require effort, really. When was the last time that you put some effort into yourself and liked it? Was it at the gym? The park? In a coffee shop with your friends?

I really don’t like it when I see stuff that’s “This is your sign” or “Your horoscope and your love life... blah blah” – I don’t need to see that when I already know what I need to do. We all know what we need to do, but it’s the comfort we find in the known that prevents us.

Go have some fun. Real fun – don’t go partying, do something for the twelve-year-old or the five-year old that sits near to your heart. Let magic be real again, and maybe unicorns aren’t so far-fetched.

Believe in yourself, because that’s the best magic you’ll ever have.
All my love,
Beatrice